Headscarf

Sarah Safi

Kapisa, Afghanistan

 

I thought you could fulfil your wishes in Germany
No barriers would be put in your way if you really want something
I thought I could take my future into my own hands here

It is not like that at all
There are many distinctions here
Between Germans and refugees
Between a Turk, an Arab, a Russian and a Rumanian

Every other person in the supermarket can go shopping quite “normally”
But I, in this crowd,
Am the difference for them
All sorts of people are there
But the security staff
Lurk behind my back

Why always me?
Because of my headscarf
Because I am a Muslima
Can’t they put themselves in my place?
How bad it feels when you are treated like this
What taunts I face from their children
When the adults behave like that

You walk along the street normally
And they barge you away with their shoulders
As they walk past you

You are in the subway
All sorts of people are there
When the ticket inspector comes
You are the first person that he checks

How am I supposed to feel then?
Like a free human being?
Like a strong woman?

Sometimes I think I have lost my way
My entire confidence in myself

 

Sarah Safi (17)

has been in Germany since 2017. She fled to Germany alone, coming to Berlin by air from Greece. Her family, too, has been in Germany since summer 2018. She attends the Peter Ustinov School.

Letter to a Girl Friend

Sarah Safi

Kapisa, Afghanistan

 

Greetings, dear friend,
Many days have passed since we poured out our hearts to each other.
I never wanted to be far away from you.
You were the only one who understood me.
Now I am far from my family.
For a year now.
In this year, life taught me much.
To go out alone, to go to the shop alone, to eat alone, to sit alone.
Alone – that is very difficult.
Loneliness is an affliction that can drive you to extremes.
But then you don’t do what you thought in those dark hours.
Friendliness, friendship and emotions, all of this is absent here.
So much being alone makes me exhausted.
The love of your father and mother, by contrast, never tires.
True love lies in this relationship, of parents to children and children to parents.
Outside this relationship, everything is meaningless.
I live from the hope of meeting again.

 

Sarah Safi (17)

has been in Germany since 2017. She fled to Germany alone, coming to Berlin by air from Greece. Her family, too, has been in Germany since summer 2018. She attends the Peter Ustinov School.