Please Don’t Come Closer

A white piece of paper
And a pen in my hand
And time moves on.

I don’t know how I should
Open the high-voltage box inside me,
On which long ago I put a note:
Please don’t come closer.

If I open the box,
I will lose my hold,
My prestige and my strength
And collapse out of weakness.

A white piece of paper
And a pen in my hand
And time moves on.

The noise in my head pulls me apart,
Leaves me split and lost.
I live in two worlds at once.
I think, read, write, understand, drink,
Eat, love, hate, am angry, in both worlds.
I have two personalities.
I am a single way to a single goal.

A white piece of paper
And a pen in my hand
And time moves on.

Perhaps I am afraid of encountering my weakness.
But I have long believed, and still believe
That the time is not yet ripe for my collapse.
Perhaps my collapse will be violent
And dazzling and destructive.
And I am afraid of destroying people around me.
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps ...