Five summers ago
You were still there
You said
Rachel, take care
Once in the night, in Berlin, summer rain
We were so young and had not thought of raincoats
We rang your doorbell

Then you could still open doors
You brought us towels and cake

Then winter
I stand outside, the church is full
I don’t know if you notice they are all here on your account
And I, unequal to this, make jokes about death

Five summers later
I cry my eyes out
At last.
The realisation: I miss you!